About that New Year's resolution...Dec 30, 2022
This time of year especially, when goal setting and resolutions are all the talk, we see a pattern - it's got to be all or nothing.
It's saying "I'm not going to check my work email on the weekends anymore" only to give up completely after a week and slide back into distracted overwhelm on your days off.
Or it's deciding to use a planner and writing out all the things you're going to do, then stressing because you’re overscheduled and don’t have enough time.
Or I’m going to stop drinking cold turkey - dry Jan.
Or setting a goal to write two pages of your novel a day when you haven’t written at all for 6 months.
High-achievers tend to go to extremes with anything new we want to try.
The problem with this is that we end up self-sabotaging, giving up on ourselves, because it's too much. We set goals that are unrealistic for the people we are right now. We end up slowing down or quitting and never starting again.Then we blame ourselves and think we just need more motivation or accountability.
We forget we have to crawl before we can walk.
Cue the eye roll - because if you’re anything like us, you do NOT want to crawl. You want results fast. But this way doesn’t lead to permanent change.
All or nothing action is a problem you can solve by noticing it and choosing to plan your results differently ahead of time. Taking Planned Action.
Planned action is where you plan ahead of time the action you want to take that is going to get you moving towards your goal but also includes room for your humanness, your primitive brain, and where you're starting from.
Planned action isn't on one of the extremes. It's action that moves you forward while also taking care of yourself, allowing for mistakes and failures. Because you’re a human not a robot.
It's the best way because it leads to permanent change.Try this:
- Set your goal
- Make a realistic plan that leaves space for your humanity
- Take action
Use this for any outcome goal you want to set (like running a marathon, writing a book, starting a business, etc.) or an identity shift (like not working late night after night, being more present in your relationships, not being so edgy and irritated).
P.S. You’re a human, not a robot. This is key to creating long term change in your life. And creating change is the first step in getting exactly what you want out of 2023. Let’s go! Schedule with us here.
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