Are you mad at me?Oct 03, 2022
We all do it. We take things personally.
And when we do, we unconsciously create all this drama for ourselves.
We get feedback at work, a look from our teenager, the bird in traffic; or someone asks us to repeat what we said, sets a boundary or doesn’t respond to our text (right away). We make it mean something about us - that we did something wrong. There’s something wrong with us.
Here’s the thing, we were taught at a young age that it’s good to have people like us - that it matters what other people think of us. We were rewarded for being nice, kind, polite (and quiet, please). We learned to look outside of ourselves to show us if we’re ok, if we’re safe.
High-achievers like you are notorious for beating themselves up inside. And when that’s our go-to way of thinking about ourselves, combined with our belief that it’s vital that people like us - we could very well feel offended all of the time.
When we’re constantly scrutinizing everything around us we aren’t present, calm, or confident - we aren’t having all that much fun, either, are we? And over time, our self-esteem and confidence degrade and erode, like the beach in stormy seas.
This is why we take it all so personally. And, why it’s totally normal if you do- you clearly have a big, beautiful human brain.
What we want to offer is, you have a choice.
You can continue to outsource your sense of safety and acceptance and value to the unpredictable humans around you - or you can choose to give weight to your own thoughts about yourself. Your own opinions.
You can treat yourself with kindness and like yourself more to feel safe in your own skin and have your own back no matter what’s going on around you.
Who do you want to entrust with your self worth - them or you?
It’s your call either way.
XO Kelle and Nina
P.S. This work takes guidance, practice, falling off the rails and getting back on. It requires feeling big feels, giving yourself a break, and giving the humans around you a break. Also key: consistency, commitment and collaboration - and you know we love a killer collab. Work with us.
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