Going Upstairs.Apr 19, 2022
Ever feel unsure of yourself, doubtful, insecure?
I can’t do THAT.
I’m not smart enough.
I’m really hard to love.
No wonder they don’t like me.
Of course I wasn’t invited.
I have to prove myself.
I’ll probably fail, so, why bother?
That self-critical voice in your head, that inner critic, just doesn’t shut up sometimes.
Listen, there’s nothing wrong with YOU.
The reason you feel self-doubt isn’t because of anything outside of you - it’s because of your thoughts about yourself.
Let’s break this down in three nerdy ways -
First, your brain loves to worry and obsess about anything it perceives as a danger. That used to be tigers, and now it’s more often an email from your boss or radio silence from a friend or an upcoming social event where you know no one.
Second, as women, we’re taught to constantly evaluate and critique ourselves so we find ourselves wanting in one way or another (take a look at any marketing out there, you need to be happier, smaller, smoother, smarter, hotter).
And third: your brain has a bias for the negative and is always looking for evidence to back-up what it already believes. So, you hate your wrinkles? We’re guessing you notice a lot of your age when you look in the mirror, exercise or hang with friends.
In these three ways, your brain has learned to look for reasons to criticize you and predict disaster.
So of course, this produces anxiety, insecurity, and self-doubt in your personal and professional life.
If you think self-critical thoughts, you won’t feel confident. If you’re filled with self-doubt, you won’t feel confident. It doesn’t matter what you accomplish or have or do on the outside – it won’t change your thoughts.
One of our coaches, Julie Piatt says, “worry is a prayer for what we don’t want to have happen.”
When we worry, we inadvertently focus on what we don’t want, instead of zeroing in on what we do want.
There’s another way to be, feel and do.
We call it going upstairs. Stay tuned. More to come.
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