Is it worth it?

It’s an empty feeling, when our relationship feels meh. Today of all days. 

We avoid each other and the discomfort - over-work, over-drink, over-compensate. Focus on the kids. Blame the kids. It’s always about the kids. 

And we question, Is this working anymore? Is this worth it?

Instagram says Loving your person should be easy…

I have to call BS on that. Some things that are valuable are also challenging.**

But just because it’s challenging doesn’t mean it’s undeniably valuable (just because we can doesn’t mean we should, high-achiever ❤️).

I just want to pee on a stick and have it tell me YES or NO - are the challenges I have with my husband worth the emotional difficulty? 

How do I know when something difficult is actually worth it and good for me? When do I give up? 

But I know from coaching that sometimes I need to ask myself better questions. This helped me go deeper:

WHY is this difficult and is THAT worth it? Is THAT good for me? Is this hard because I’m growing? or confronting something unseen? or healing? Is there something left on the table to explore? 

In that case, it’s a yes. Growth is work I want to do. I like that reason- and that carries me through the hard moments. 

Choosing when to do the work and when to give up requires some bigger questions and some deeper thinking - We develop the self-trust and discernment to really know when we LIKE our REAL reason WHY. 

If you’re curious, take these to your journal:

• What is challenging me? Why is this difficult?
• Is this challenge shining a light on something I’ve been running from?
• What is my end goal? Is this connected to what I value, who I want to be? 
• What is my reason? Is it coming from fear? insecurity? Or vulnerability and compassion? 

So, don’t drink the kool-aid: if it’s hard you’re doing something wrong, if it’s easy you're in the right place. There are better questions to ask, deeper digging to do. And a different - more kickass - outcome to create. We’ll show you. Work with us. 

**Everyone deserves a healthy relationship. If you’re in an abusive relationship and need help, please consider visiting https://www.thehotline.org or call 800.799.SAFE (7233). You can also text “START” to 88788.