Nerd Alert...

My family and I were two days into our trip in Mexico.

While paddling out in the ocean, I spied fins coming out of the water.

Watching with every bit of attention I had, I realized it was a pod of dolphins and they were coming our direction.  We took our paddles out of the water and just sat. Silent. Still.

They approached us, then swam under us, to the sides of us. There were at least 8 and probably more we couldn’t see. Pure magic.

I also spotted two stingrays, two puffer fish, and many tiny translucent jellyfish we could’ve easily missed.

My daughter asked, why do you see all the good stuff?

I said, It’s part of what Nina and I do. We help women pay attention differently.

I’m not thinking about how annoying the jackhammering is that’s reverberating off the water from the new high rise being built.

I’m not wondering how much longer we have to be out here on the water, away from devices.

I’m not distracted by the vacationers screaming by on wave runners.

Of course my mind goes there. It wants to focus on the distractions, the annoyances, the inconveniences.

Our human brains have a 4:1 negativity bias (nerd alert 🤓). For every one negative input, it needs four equally weighted positive inputs to neutralize.

This is why the news (Fox, CNN, etc.) is always so negative - and why we can't help but watch it!

This is the primitive part of our brain doing what it was designed to do, to keep us safe by scanning for danger - it’s our default setting.

So, what can you do?

We have to notice it and redirect it - on purpose. To focus on what we want to see.

To make decisions from a different place - not a scared place.

This means managing our minds (doing thought work), and it means increasing positive input and decreasing negative input. So you see more of what you want to see and less of what you don’t.

When you think differently, you feel differently. 

We LOVE brain science. And we love you.