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The state of your union?

Sep 16, 2021

Now that the kids are back in school and the parents have a bit more bandwidth, what’s going on with that adult human you share your life with?

What’s the state of your union?

Sure, we’re in the hustle together. Ticking boxes for the kids, the house, the animals, the teams, the carpools, the school, the work commitments - oh the scheduling! - all the things.

And then when we crash out at the end of the day and turn to the person next to us in bed, we’re like, Oh. Hey.

Ever feel like it’s more business than pleasure with your love partner? 

Our clients know, we talk about it all the time: Life is 50:50. 

Fifty percent of the time we’re feeling pretty kickass and positive and then the other fifty we’re not. And it’s all ok. 

Feeling deeply is feeling alive. When it’s light and joyful -- and when it’s dark and uncomfortable. 

We can’t have one without the other.  

The problem is, when the “negative” uncomfortable feels creep in, we think something’s wrong. 

My husband and I used to think that when the going got tough in our relationship - when there was conflict or tension or angst - that we were broken. Something was wrong. Very very wrong. 

We were supposed to be happy, all the time.

Like those holiday Lexus ads - the killer showcase home with two beautiful humans in the driveway, their matching labs and kids standing next to a brand new luxury automobile (miraculously) wrapped in an oversized red bow.

All of that, sprinkled with some spontaneous mindblowing sex on top  — not in the driveway BTW (the neighbors! The HOA! The neighbor’s RING camera! The HOA!) 

Right. 

The #1 thing you need to know when thinking about relationships with other humans? 

Our relationships, like our lives, also feel the 50:50. 

That’s when we’re actually in relationship. 

When we’re feeling the feels, tough and joyful, together. 

Beside each other. 

On each other’s team. Trying to understand each other’s unmet needs. 

Not as adversaries, as partners. 

In relationship. 

There’s nothing broken. Just some unmet needs nudging you to check in.

Check in. We’re here for you. 

 

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