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Working Out and Working In

Apr 30, 2021

I hopped on the peloton Monday with a stress clench that could only be relieved with some sweaty cardio. You know what we mean :) 

So I got on the bike. 

And it was a killer workout - my heart cranking, my lungs screaming, sweat soaked my shirt and my body just released.

As I cooled down and wound down - I felt the sneaky clench creep back in. 

It was itchy, that anxious buzz in my gut, it told me there was still work to do. Something I needed to pay attention to. 

So I went upstairs and got even more still. 

I didn’t really want to - I had shit to do! 

But before I could bail, a flood of emotion came out of me. Tears. Heaving sobs. Not sadness, that was the confusing part - just waves and waves of emotional backlog. 

I just sat there letting it go. 

*This was not fun*

Sort of like food poisoning: it sucks to throw up but it’s better than getting poisoned by the food you ate (thank you, Martha Beck). 

No matter what my power meter read that day, I couldn’t muscle through the work that needed to be done. 

The deeper, uncomfortable work. Sure the speed intervals were hard, but I was distracting myself in my physical pain from the emotional and mental pain that I needed to reckon with below. 

It was such a visceral reminder that working out can’t be a substitute for working in. We have to do both. We have to pay attention to both. 

Or else the deep work piles up, and we become these ticking time bombs. 

And our unhealthy habits reflect that: Over-eating? Over-drinking? Over criticizing? Under-exercising? Under-appreciating? Under-estimating?

We all need to practice that: Feeling. Deeply. Often. 

We humans, we’re allergic to doing things the hard way. 

Don’t get me wrong, that workout was borderline sufferfest. But the real work, the emotional and mental work? 

That’s where the magic happens. 

We can’t rely on our bodies alone to solve all of our problems. 

What happens when you get still? When you slow down and listen? 

Hand on your heart? 

We’re here for you,

Xo kelle and nina

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