Yeah, thanks Taylor Swift.
I felt like I was the worst Mom.
It was the end of the day. I was exhausted from juggling and re-juggling to-dos, trying to make sure I wasn’t dropping a ball or letting anyone down.
I made it through dinner but now I’m DONE.
The house was a disaster and a total distraction - lighting up my stress and resentment further. The kids still needed to put on pj’s, brush teeth, and read stories. A bath? Forget it.
I’d asked them four one hundred times, and it was like they didn’t even hear me anymore.
Until I finally lose it and start to yell. I turn into scary mommy and they finally take notice.
We would do this nearly every night.
My husband was constantly traveling for work so the weight of parenting was all on me.
And the worst part was I was a yoga instructor. I wasn’t supposed to lose it. I should have been able to stay calm, be more patient, let it go, take a few deep breaths and understand that they’re just kids being kids.
But in the heat of the moment, I lost control.
I would get angry, lose my temper, yell, and be resentful that I was forced to yell (like they gave me no choice). Then came crying, guilt, shame and sadness (both me and the kids). Then maybe one [or three] too many glasses of wine. And a shitty dinner over the sink I didn’t even taste.
I couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t just affecting me. It was affecting my kids. Because kids learn a lot from watching their parents. And this was one thing I wasn’t proud to teach them.
So I started to do some research. I learned I wasn’t making room for what I needed to fill my own cup. And by the end of the day I didn’t have anything left. I began to realize that although I could do anything, I couldn’t do everything.
If this sounds familiar, first we want you to know you’re not alone. You are an incredible mom and your kids are crazy about you.
Make a decision to create the change you wish to see in yourself. Today. Believe in yourself. YOU can do this.
By practicing our CALM method. Created by moms, for moms, these four practical tactics are like bicep curls for your emotional CALM muscle. There’s no magic pill or quick fix, changing habits takes practice!
And, the CALM method is just that. A framework you can practice everyday to help you yell less, play more, and feel grateful - even on the crappiest days.