I recently read Shauna Niequist’s book Present Over Perfect. In it she describes a concept called ‘fake-resting’. Right when I read this, I knew I was guilty of doing it all the time.
My family would be playing a board game on a lazy weekend morning and I would be half-joined in, partially there but not really there, there. I was still wearing my pajamas so it seemed like I was resting, but I was puttering around the house putting away toys and books and everything else that accumulated on the horizontal surfaces, folding laundry, the endless list of momming chores beckoning me.
The kids would call me over when it was my turn. I would walk over, assess, make my move, have a quick comment or giggle and then return to whatever else I was doing. I was half in and mostly out. Which means I wasn’t really there. I thought I was being productive but the truth was, I was missing it. I was missing the little moments, trading connection with my family for...
“Willpower is more myth than muscle. It’s more legend than reality.”
Moms are around food all of the time. We shop for, prepare, and cook food whether we’re hungry or not. Because it’s not just about us.
There’s breakfast, making lunches, after school snacks, car snacks, general snack packs, dinner, dessert. And if your kids are like ours, there are like 10 times in between all that when they want a snack or something to drink or a treat.
The thing is, we were chatting and we don’t know about you but we could have cheese and crackers for dinner most nights. But then we still need to feed them...
The holidays make...
Raise a glass! It’s almost Thanksgiving you know what that means...it’s officially eating season.
Are you eating right now? Put down that utensil and let’s talk mindful eating.
Do you eat standing up or sitting down? Do you eat in your car? Do you eat fast, barely chewing? Do you watch television, or talk on the phone while you eat?
The truth is, often we barely pay attention to what we eat, let alone how much. Until it’s too late.
This was our typical habit, eating when we were no longer hungry, overstuffing ourselves (sometimes on purpose!) and feeling gross for the rest of the day and maybe the rest of the week.
Until we began practicing our bulletproof approach for enjoying a guilt free holiday season.
Mindful eating is essentially eating with both, attention and intention. In simple terms, it means being purposeful when you eat, and devoting your full attention to eating....
"I need to process events, emotions and stress on my own first. It took me a long time to understand myself in this way. I started feeling “wrong” for needing time alone or away to untangle my emotions and needs. It felt like too much to ask. And when I couldn’t make room to process, the feelings would get stuffed away, I couldn’t deal with them the way I needed to. I became so easily triggered, especially by my kids.
When I took a hard look, I realized I was honoring everyone else’s needs while displacing my own. Why was I saying one thing to friends and family but doing another? I needed to include myself in my circle of kindness. In taking the time to notice, understand and acknowledge my needs, I was able to make an ask. From a place of love with grace and intention, not a place of fear with anger or resentment." -Nina
Let’s say that again. It’s ok to need. To have needs.
How do you feel reading...
I started to notice when it was happening.
It would be the beginning of the day when I was trying to get my daughter to school on time. She would be playing (or arguing) with my younger son. The clock was telling me we weren’t gonna make it. Can you just get your shoes on?
I started to feel the pressure of it all. Getting one to school on time. Spending the day with the other while trying to chip away at a mile-long to-do list. We were going to be late. Again.
Or when it’s the end of the day. I’m exhausted from ticking boxes, juggling tasks and managing projects from work and life. I made it through dinner but now I’m DONE.
The house is a disaster. There are toys and clothes everywhere, and they still needed to put on pj’s, brush teeth, and read a book. A bath? Forget it.
I had asked them four times, and it’s like they don’t even hear me anymore. Until I finally lose it and start to yell. I turn on the scary mommy voice and they...
I’ve always hustled, because I felt like I was never enough.
Growing up, we didn’t have a lot but my parents worked and worked some more to give us what they could.
My Mom always told me I could have whatever I wanted if I was willing to work for it.
So I did. I got a paper route at 10 yrs old, hustled on the soccer field and made Varsity as a freshman, worked my butt off in high school, graduated six months early, and then I started college early.
My “hustle” served me when I started working full-time after college and by my late twenties I was making six-figures in sales, a profession in which productivity was rewarded.
But it was never enough.
I was never smart enough, pretty enough, or skinny enough. Or at least those were the stories in my head.
I continued to push and strive and prove my worth by my ability to hustle. I was like a machine, maximizing efficiency for the sake of a bigger number on my...
I was living in my body but we weren’t on the same team.
I felt impatient or angry when it was sick or injured.
I felt pleased when it was lean and strong, a reflection of my (excessive) self discipline.
I grew up back east constantly competing for varsity - on and off the field. You didn’t just go to college, you went to the best college. You didn’t just play sports, you were the best player on the field. I was used to pushing through resistance even if it hurt. There wasn’t a lot of sleeping in, bench-sitting, rest or recovery.
To be honest, it didn’t occur to me that I was allowed to struggle. That I was allowed to have problems. I just had to figure things out, mostly on my own - perhaps to a fault.
These were the stories in my head.
Until I was diagnosed with primary lymphedema.
It took years to diagnose the peculiar swelling in my leg. It would come and go for the most part, but after my second pregnancy, it didn’t. I...
The whole reason we became coaches? We were sick. We were trying to fix ourselves.
Both of us.
Yes, we met years ago at preschool drop-off, and yes, we were both frenzied, overwhelmed moms, but what really brought us together was bonding over our health coaching experiences and coping with our chronic diseases.
When you have a chronic disease, there’s no cure, no finish line.
Our bodies were trying to tell us something was wrong, and we didn’t hear. We were too ‘busy’. It wasn’t until they started screaming at us, and we couldn’t ignore them anymore, that we started to listen.
We talk a lot about making room for your needs, yelling less and playing more, being grateful even on the toughest days - because we needed to do just that.
We were moms, wives, friends, sisters, daughters and humans living with chronic dis-ease, and none of that was going to go away. We needed to learn to manage the “noise” with intention and grace.
Let’s be real, everyone’s “busy” these days.
What does ‘busy’ really mean?
Ticking boxes is incredibly satisfying when it’s meaningful and maps back to what’s important to us, but most of the time it’s a quick, short-lived hit of satisfaction.
There will always be more places to go, people to see and more to-do’s on the never ending list. This cycle continues and a week has passed, then a month, then a year, and we’ll have busied our lives away.
That doesn’t really matter though, society rewards busy-ness!
Trust the hustle! Ignore the cries of your body and soul!
TRUTH: Our busy-ness is a connection-breaker and emotion-blocker. It’s a way to numb ourselves and avoid talking about what’s really going on.
We have to break it to you, those “busy” people aren’t organizing or prioritizing their needs and demands. They’re hiding their truths behind...