Yeah, thanks Taylor Swift.
I felt like I was the worst Mom.
It was the end of the day. I was exhausted from juggling and re-juggling to-dos, trying to make sure I wasn’t dropping a ball or letting anyone down.
I made it through dinner but now I’m DONE.
The house was a disaster and a total distraction - lighting up my stress and resentment further. The kids still needed to put on pj’s, brush teeth, and read stories. A bath? Forget it.
I’d asked them four one hundred times, and it was like they didn’t even hear me anymore.
Until I finally lose it and start to yell. I turn into scary mommy and they finally take notice.
We would do this nearly every night.
My husband was constantly traveling for work so the weight of parenting was all on me.
And the worst part was I was a yoga instructor. I wasn’t supposed to lose it. I should have been able to stay calm, be more patient, let it go, take a few deep breaths and understand that they’re...
I can’t. I don’t have time. It’s too hard. I’ll start tomorrow. Or next week. Or maybe next year.
These are the things we say to ourselves when we’re afraid.
Raising children. Running a business. Getting healthy. Doing everything we do on a regular basis is hard enough.
Then if we want to bring in something else, something our hearts are craving or our souls are curious about, it can feel too overwhelming, maybe even impossible. And the self-doubt creeps in.
So we stop. We shelve that wonder. Those dreams.
Truth? Dreaming can unlock possibility. And wonder can lead to freedom. We just need to give ourselves permission. Allow ourselves to consider what’s possible.
The women we work with often avoid the things they know they need to do to change their life.
Ticking boxes give us all a shot of satisfaction, but we challenge clients to think quality over quantity. Ten little wins feels different than three...
I should have been happy.
I had a job that I liked that paid me well. I owned a lot of stuff...expensive shoes, purses, clothes, outdoor gear. I had a nice house and a good car. I went on incredible vacations to Bali, Peru, Europe…
I wanted more. So I met a gorgeous, successful man and got married. And then I had 2 amazing kids. We bought a bigger, nicer house and better cars.
I finally had everything I ever wanted. But somehow there was still something missing.
Because here’s what we do. We see something we want to accomplish and then we set a lofty goal to make it happen. Say it’s climbing a mountain. So we work to climb this mountain and we get to the summit and it feels pretty good, but we aren’t completely content. And then we look out and we see this bigger mountain in the distance, and we think oh, ok once I climb that, then I will be happy. And the cycle continues.
We never fully arrive at our final destination of happiness. What does...
Not what do you want to do, but how do you want to do?
It goes without saying, the mom struggle is real. We book haircuts, doc appointments and endless activities for our kids but rarely carve out time for our own loves and curiosities. We shop for our children’s cough medicine without realizing we need some of our own. Our to-do lists dominate our days and even if we tick every box, there’s always something missing.
We think we have to do it all and feel balance and joy in that chaos. We’re overwhelmed, we’re exhausted and we’re not getting our own needs met. So then we go off the rails. We’re bossy. We yell. We eat things we know aren’t good for us. We talk badly about ourselves and others. We judge. We compare. We blame. We’re resentful. We feel that crushing mom guilt. We numb and we medicate. Online shopping binge? Bone broth diet? A workout? That extra glass of wine? Do they solve the whole problem?
Where do you...
So picture this: you’re eating pretty well, you exercise, and while you know you could be doing more, you’re doing pretty good - it’s just those stubborn 10 pounds.
You’re pulled in a lot of different directions on a daily basis, your to-do list is never-ending and it feels like at the end of the day, no matter what you do, there’s always more.
Your anxiety is pretty high - despite the workouts which used to be enough - and you’re finding more and more often that you’re bossy and distracted.
Your s.o. has become more of a messy roommate than a lover, and your fuse is short with your kids.
From the outside, you should be happy, but if you’re being honest, those ten pounds are starting to feel like 20, and you can’t remember the last time you had an i-can-barely-breathe, tears-running-down-your-face, deep-in-your-belly, snorting laugh.
The truth is, no matter how much kale you eat, or how much you...
I recently read Shauna Niequist’s book Present Over Perfect. In it she describes a concept called ‘fake-resting’. Right when I read this, I knew I was guilty of doing it all the time.
My family would be playing a board game on a lazy weekend morning and I would be half-joined in, partially there but not really there, there. I was still wearing my pajamas so it seemed like I was resting, but I was puttering around the house putting away toys and books and everything else that accumulated on the horizontal surfaces, folding laundry, the endless list of momming chores beckoning me.
The kids would call me over when it was my turn. I would walk over, assess, make my move, have a quick comment or giggle and then return to whatever else I was doing. I was half in and mostly out. Which means I wasn’t really there. I thought I was being productive but the truth was, I was missing it. I was missing the little moments, trading connection with my family for...
“Willpower is more myth than muscle. It’s more legend than reality.”
Moms are around food all of the time. We shop for, prepare, and cook food whether we’re hungry or not. Because it’s not just about us.
There’s breakfast, making lunches, after school snacks, car snacks, general snack packs, dinner, dessert. And if your kids are like ours, there are like 10 times in between all that when they want a snack or something to drink or a treat.
The thing is, we were chatting and we don’t know about you but we could have cheese and crackers for dinner most nights. But then we still need to feed them...
The holidays make...
Raise a glass! It’s almost Thanksgiving you know what that means...it’s officially eating season.
Are you eating right now? Put down that utensil and let’s talk mindful eating.
Do you eat standing up or sitting down? Do you eat in your car? Do you eat fast, barely chewing? Do you watch television, or talk on the phone while you eat?
The truth is, often we barely pay attention to what we eat, let alone how much. Until it’s too late.
This was our typical habit, eating when we were no longer hungry, overstuffing ourselves (sometimes on purpose!) and feeling gross for the rest of the day and maybe the rest of the week.
Until we began practicing our bulletproof approach for enjoying a guilt free holiday season.
Mindful eating is essentially eating with both, attention and intention. In simple terms, it means being purposeful when you eat, and devoting your full attention to eating....
"I need to process events, emotions and stress on my own first. It took me a long time to understand myself in this way. I started feeling “wrong” for needing time alone or away to untangle my emotions and needs. It felt like too much to ask. And when I couldn’t make room to process, the feelings would get stuffed away, I couldn’t deal with them the way I needed to. I became so easily triggered, especially by my kids.
When I took a hard look, I realized I was honoring everyone else’s needs while displacing my own. Why was I saying one thing to friends and family but doing another? I needed to include myself in my circle of kindness. In taking the time to notice, understand and acknowledge my needs, I was able to make an ask. From a place of love with grace and intention, not a place of fear with anger or resentment." -Nina
Let’s say that again. It’s ok to need. To have needs.
How do you feel reading...
I started to notice when it was happening.
It would be the beginning of the day when I was trying to get my daughter to school on time. She would be playing (or arguing) with my younger son. The clock was telling me we weren’t gonna make it. Can you just get your shoes on?
I started to feel the pressure of it all. Getting one to school on time. Spending the day with the other while trying to chip away at a mile-long to-do list. We were going to be late. Again.
Or when it’s the end of the day. I’m exhausted from ticking boxes, juggling tasks and managing projects from work and life. I made it through dinner but now I’m DONE.
The house is a disaster. There are toys and clothes everywhere, and they still needed to put on pj’s, brush teeth, and read a book. A bath? Forget it.
I had asked them four times, and it’s like they don’t even hear me anymore. Until I finally lose it and start to yell. I turn on the scary mommy voice and they...